May 4th, 2010

Hurray, it’s May! We are getting close to June—the month I believe you will be born. You are actually due July 7th but Jamie had Nolan and Preston each two weeks early so my guess is that you will follow suit!
We have had so much fun as a family getting everything ready for you. If you came into our home today you would absolutely think you were here already. All of your clothes have been washed and put away in your room (and this was no small feat as you have a million adorable outfits!). Your Dad deep cleaned all of the baby “stuff”—the swings, car seats, strollers, etc. for you too. Even the cupboard is full with clean bottles, just waiting for you to need them.
Your big sister is SO excited for you—I know I say that in every note to you but, really, I just can’t say it enough. Her anticipation for you is just the sweetest thing! She talks about you nonstop and happily shares all of her stuffed animals and favorite blankets with you by placing them in your room to wait for you. She has been practicing reading for you, too. She can’t wait to read to you just as soon as you get home. She has gotten all of her favorite “Baby Einstein” movies out from when she was little and is now watching them just to prepare for you. (She is trying to remember all of her baby signs!) She is always telling me that she will wake up at night to feed you or change your diaper if I need the help. I’m sure she really would if I asked! Too bad she is only three!!!
It is amazing how much love you have for your child. I love Grace so very much and wonder, like I’m sure all moms do at this point, how I could possibly love another child as much as I love her. Everyone says that your heart just doubles. I’m sure that will be the case. I already love you, my dear, more than words could every adequately express.
I am so, so, so, so, so, so glad that we never gave up on having you! Thank you God for all of the strength it took to make the dream of our family a reality!!!
Oh, and on the “family dream” note… About a year and a half ago I had a very real dream that we adopted a little boy from Ethiopia and named him Eli. When we almost adopted from Ethiopia, it was because of this dream. Anyway, I feel so strongly that this was more than a dream and that our little Eli is still out there waiting for us to find him. It’s funny because I now feel so content with our family of four (and you aren’t even here yet!). That being said, I still feel so bizarrely as though I have glimpsed into our future and this little boy is still a part of it. Anyway, I’ve shared this story time and time again so all of our closest friends and family know about “little Eli.” The reason I’m mentioning this is, about a month ago our close friend Katie called to tell us that she was reading a book named “The Baby Name Wizard.” In that book you can look up your existing child’s name and see a few suggested sibling names. Anyway, Katie looked up Gracie (the name we most often call Grace) and in it you will NEVER believe what it says! Gracie’s sister name is Lilly and her brother name is Eli!!!! Amazing! I’m 99.99%  certain that Lilly was even spelled with two ll’s. Crazy! Especially since we never even knew of this book until just the other day, well after we’ve told the world about Eli and hung the letters to your name  on your nursery wall! Right now, all we can think about it is YOU though. I’m sure you will keep us busy enough for the near future! I just wanted to tell you this story, just in case my dream ever comes to fruition!
I do have more to updates for you, but my hand is sore and I am sooo tired. I’ll fill you in on everything else soon…
I love you my baby!!!
Xoxoxoxoxoxo,
 
Mom

April 30th, 2010

Hi my beautiful baby girl. It has been sooo long since I have written to you. I keep waiting to have lots of time to write, and the moment just hasn’t presented itself. So, I guess I will just have to write what I can, when I am able.

The reason I wanted lots of time to write is because I have lots to tell you. Let’s just say we came to a pretty big “hurdle” about three weeks ago. The pre-birth order for maternity and paternity that our attorney sent to the judge was denied. Apparently, since it is still so rare to have someone else carry your biological child, our county doesn’t feel comfortable granting a pre-birth order the way it is done in most other counties in the nation. The way it was supposed to go per our infertility clinic and our highly specialized attorney, we would have the pre-birth document approved by the courts and placed in Jamie’s ob file so that when you are born you are immediately recognized as our biological child—end of story.

To process the pre-birth order we had legal documents all notarized by Jamie and Jamie, our infertility doctor, and your father and me stating that from conception you were our biological child and that we all agreed that you would immediately be recognized as our biological child upon your birth. Our attorney, who was referred to us by our infertility doctor as the #1 attorney in the state who specializes in surrogacy law, has processed around 10 of these pre-birth orders over this past year with no problems at all in other Michigan counties. We were the lucky ones to run into this issue for the very first time and without any warning. SO, it has thrown all of us for a HUGE loop (to say the very least).

The only “solution” to this legal nightmare is to “adopt” you, our biological child. Ridiculous, isn’t it?!? I’m sure some day this will just be a funny story for you to tell your friends, but right now, let me tell you, it is anything but funny…

I am so very glad that I have been journaling your entire journey to our family for you so that you will never for a second question whether you are really our biological child because of this “adoption.” Please know that this was just one random hoop that we had to jump through in this long process, and please know that we have always known, from day one, that we would do anything for you. You have always been our child. Ever since the day one year ago that we created you as our little embryo. If you ever read this and want more proof that you are biologically ours, just pull out your photo book and look at that precious photo of you as our little embryo! In that photo journal you will see that we were with you every step of the way as you made your way into the world and into our hearts and family.

Your Dad and I have been very busy doing all of the required adoption home study stuff that is now required of us. We only had 10 weeks left in Jamie’s pregnancy when we found out that we would need to file for adoption, and since Jamie had each of her own children around two weeks early, we may even have less time to pull this off. (Hence my lack of time to write in here over the past few weeks!)

The amount of time it takes most couples to do what we have done in one week is about 4 months! Amazing, huh?!? We have been busy filling out all of the applications, each writing our autobiography, filling out our budget, getting copies of our birth certificates, marriage license, driving records, local police background checks, federal background checks, getting fingerprinted, getting full physicals with TB tests, getting references from friends, family, neighbors, Grace’s teachers, and co-workers and much, much more! It has been just nuts. We know that you are SO worth it all!!! We met with our case worker at our adoption agency last night for three hours, and she was just great. We loved her! She knows and understands our full story and wants nothing more than to help us cut through this red tape as quickly and efficiently as possible.

This whole process has actually been wonderful for your Dad and me. It is really nice to tell someone about our lives and why we know we make a great team and will be wonderful parents to you. This whole infertility chapter has brought your Dad and me so much closer. We are both just bursting with excitement now over you!

That’s your update for now, peanut. I love you!!!

Mom

April 8th, 2010

Well, Grace and I went over to check on you today, Lilly, and you ARE getting big!!! Jamie is definitely in her 3^rd trimester now, and she looks just amazing. You are so big now that when you move she can tell what part of you she is feeling. The other great news is that if you were born today you would have a viability rate of 88%! Amazing!!! Keep on growing though in your wonderful, safe, and cozy home… We will meet you soon enough!

Grace was also super excited to see how big you are. She immediately gave you a kiss and told you that she loved you. It was really adorable. Jamie said that she just loves seeing Grace’s excitement over you. It really is something to behold!

Jamie has told me many, many times lately how very glad she is that we all decided to go down this road less traveled. She loves making a difference, she loves the conversations she gets to have about you and her decision to do this and she loves the example that she is setting for her own four children. What a role model she is!

Grace told me today (while we were in the car on the way to Jamie’s house) that when she grows up she wants to help people have babies. I’m not sure if she meant by being a doctor (either OB or infertility) or by carrying a baby for someone else. Either way, I would be VERY proud!!! I hope that each of you do something that makes this world a better place than you found it. If you are a great Mom, that is good enough for me! Just be your very best at whatever you do, OK?

That’s it for now… Grandma Marin is here and your Daddy is taking me on a date!

Xoxoxoxoxoxo,

Your Mom

Easter--April 4th, 2010

Happy Easter little one... I wanted to take a second after our busy weekend to tell you how loved you are. We already all feel like you are a member of the family and we cannot wait to see your beautiful little face. We talk about you all of the time, every day. You will be here before we know it!

You get the hiccups now. That excites me because it means that your little lungs are practicing so they will work well outside of Jamie’s womb. It also means that you would be viable now, if born early. Stay put though, OK? You need to grow much bigger and much stronger.

You are almost 27 weeks “baked” now and Jamie says that she is very big. I plan on visiting this week to tell you in person how much I love you. Jamie is still feeling wonderful. She is SUCH a trooper!!! Our Angel! How lucky are we to have two?!? Hopefully, you will take after her and make many positive contributions to the lives of others. There isn’t a better role model out there!!!

I am so happy for you that you will always have Jamie and Jamie in your life. After all, we really wouldn’t have you without them. Hard to imagine you not being a part of us now… She will always be your Angel too. And, seriously, a better one does not exist! She is the BEST!!! All of us are so much richer because of her and the love of her life, “boy Jamie.” People just don’t come any better—they really don’t.

I find myself getting much more emotional these days. I think it is just because I am so happy and so thankful for my life, my dear friends and family and the gift of you. God is SO good! Life is SO good!

The weather has been unseasonably warm this past week. It has been in the 80s! Everything is in bloom and the coats are packed away until next fall. Amazing for early April in Michigan!!!

It is unbelievable to me that you were conceived two full seasons ago. Really, you will be here in our arms before we know it. Amazing!

We still need to get out and wash all of the baby “stuff”—the swing, the stroller, etc. I also need to wash all of the newborn clothes, buy new BPA free bottles, and stock up on formula, diapers and wipes. I’m also planning on re-reading some books like Baby Wise and The Baby Whisperer just to pick and choose the points I want to follow.

Since I will be in perfect health upon your arrival, I really want to do everything I can to give you the very best start in life. I am ready to get ready for you but I don’t want to start preparing so early that all of your clothes need to be re-washed and I’ve forgotten all that I’ve read.

Grace is still done with her pacifier (thank God!), otherwise known as her “Ba ba.” Yes, she is three and a half! We don’t want to make that mistake again!!! She is still VERY excited about you and about being your Big Sister.

OK, that’s it for now. I love you, baby girl!!!

xoxoxoxoxoxo,

Mom

March 27, 2010

Lilly,

I was just looking in your room—hanging up a new hat I got you—and smiling. I then looked in on your big sister—sleeping for the first week in her new big girl room. She looks so little in her new queen bed! The peace you are bringing to my heart and to our family is beyond anything I could have imagined. I wanted to take a minute to just tell you about it.

I smile more than I ever have. My heart feels like it is filling up and I know that the minute Jamie places you into my arms it will finally feel whole. You complete us, my dear. I love you, I long for you and I cannot wait to lay my eyes and lips upon you.

Grace and your Dad are very excited too. What fun it will be for me to see you in your sister’s arms. She cannot wait to be your big sister. I hope that the two of you always know how lucky you are to have one and other. The bond of a sister is like no other. I already love you more than you will ever know.

xoxoxoxoxoxox,

Mommy

March 18th, 2010

Hi, Baby Girl. It has been almost 3 weeks since I have written—too long. Everything is still going wonderful. Jamie is 2 days into week 25 and she still looks and feels great. Both of your Grandmas babysat their four kids and Grace so that your Dad and I could take Jamie and Jamie out to dinner last Saturday. It was nice to all be together and catch up as couples. We always have such a special time with them. It was extra special this time because I felt you kick a couple of times. Sooo special! Jamie keeps telling me how very strong you are.

We finished Grace’s big girl room last weekend and emptied all of her belongings from your room. Jamie made the letters for “LILLY” and they are already hung up on your wall. I love dreaming about you in there!

I am going to a big sale this weekend to pick up a few things for you. Should be fun but we definitely don’t “need” much!

No other big news to report… I’m a little nervous because I have a sore lump on my breast that I found yesterday. I am going to the doctor tomorrow to have it checked out. It is also the anniversary for our failed in-vitro last year, which brings back many sad memories. Luckily we are replacing those sad memories with many happy ones these days!

Honestly, that is all there is to report. Life is simple and that is GOOD. The snow is now gone and spring is definitely in the air. Thank goodness!!! I think I’ll get Grace dressed now and bring her to the park. Ahhh, spring… Life sure is good!

March 2, 2010

Hello my sweet 22 week old baby girl! Tomorrow is day one of week 23. You will be here before we know it! The doctor's appointment went perfectly last week and your heart beat was loud and clear—150BPM.

Grace and I went over to Jamie’s for the day today and had a wonderful time. You are getting big and Jamie is really starting to show. Today was especially perfect because I felt you kick me two times!!! I loved feeling you finally!

Gracie and I talked to you and told you how much we love you. She was really cute talking to Jamie’s belly. She said “Hi Lilly, it’s your Sister. I love you!” I, of course, always talk to you too—especially since you can hear us now. I want you to know your Mama’s voice.

We have decided that we are going to spell your name Lilly. We like it so much more in writing with the two l’s and since it is short for Lillian, it only makes sense.

Your Dad is really coming along on Grace’s room—the walls are now almost all painted. I bought some picture frames, etc. for her room so she will be excited to move out of “your room” soon.

After we get her all settled in, then it will be time to empty your closet, dresser, etc. then deep clean the room, refresh the paint, wash all of your clothes and put the crib back together (it is a toddler bed right now).

I’m going to get some cute letters to put your name on the wall too. I just can’t believe that in only 4 months you will be home sweet home! Our little darling—our second love—our little flower.

No other huge news to report. I am all done taking on new clients and I only have a couple left now. I’m pretty much a full time stay at home mom and I LOVE it!

As excited as I am for you to join us, I do also remember all of the work and sleepless nights that come along with a newborn. That being said, I am making a point to also savor all of my peaceful quiet time now because I know it is short-lived. I am also savoring my time with Grace now that I am not working. We are going to have as many fun days as we can doing little day outings and adventures between now and July.

That is your 22 week update, and ours too!

We love you honey!!!

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo,

Mom