February 12, 2010

Hi my baby girl—I cannot wait to see you, to hold you in my very own arms—to give you love. Next Tuesday marks the end of the first 20 weeks. In some ways the time has flown by, in others it feels like we have come so far. I cannot wait until the moment when you are placed in my arms, when I look into your beautiful eyes and know that you are forever my baby, my precious baby girl.

I cannot wait until that moment, that moment when Grace holds you and knows you as her long awaited baby sister.

I cannot wait until that moment, that moment when I watch your loving father fall head over heels in love with you.

20 more weeks…

I love you honey, more than you will probably ever know. You were SO wanted, so prayed upon, so loved—you will complete me, you will complete us. You will complete us. Please always know that you are just as loved as Grace, just as precious to us as Grace. My hope is that you will find and read this journal if you ever question any of these things. We climbed mountains to have you and even though you are not growing in my belly, you are growing in our hearts. My heart is overflowing with love for you already. I still sometimes feel like you must be too good to be true. You will always be our miracle baby. You will always be the greatest gift given to me. We are ALL so much better because of you.

You are kicking all of the time now. Jamie said that you were a wild child last night and today. You are strong now—she can’t miss your kicks. She said that I will be feeling them very soon. I can’t wait!!! She also said that she is really showing all of a sudden. I haven’t seen her in a week and a half but I plan to visit in a few days. I am really looking forward to seeing her and her belly, proof that you are getting big and strong.

Your Dad is painting Grace’s big girl room right now. I’m really looking forward to her moving into it so that we can begin getting the nursery ready for you.

Grace and I went sledding two days ago and we heard a dad call out to his little girl “Lily, come on up the hill!” It sounded so sweet and beautiful. I came home and talked to your Dad about that name over dinner. We both just loved it—everyone loved it! So, I am 99.99% sure that you will be Lilly—our precious flower. We will name you Lillian Kate. Beautiful, isn’t it?!?

If you look up the meaning of the Lily flower it means refined beauty and pure. I am sure that you will be our pure refined beauty. I just think this is such a beautiful, classic, elegant, and timeless name. I sure hope you agree, as it will be yours!

Grace made you a Valentine yesterday and she wrote on it (with my help): “To Lilly, love Grace”. Needless to say, my heart melted. Grace has a sister finally and man does she love you already! I think your names sound so beautiful together too. You are our little Lilly now and we are so in love with you!

Sleep tight, my love.

Xoxoxoxoxoxox,

Mom