"How can we not?"

I have been blessed. I have four beautiful children. I always knew I wanted to have kids but never dreamed that I would have the ability, the capacity to love them as much as I do. I remember asking my mother after our first child William was born how it was possible to love any more children as much as I loved him. My heart overflowed and it seemed inconceivable that I could possibly have any room left to be able to love another child.  But I did, and with each new child that joined our family I loved more, my heart grew and I became humbled that God would entrust these sweet spirits into our care to love, teach and raise in our home.  I realized that being a parent was a gift and that my husband and I have been blessed to be able to become parents four times.  

We didn't plan for Will, but we weren’t not planning either. We knew a baby would happen when it was supposed to. When Will was about a year old we knew we wanted to have another and made the decision to try again. After only two months of trying we were pregnant with Olive. She arrived just about a month before Will turned two. The next few years are a blur. When Olive was three months old we found out that I was pregnant with Nolan. He arrived just two weeks after Olive’s first birthday. And then, when Nolan was just three months old again, we found out we were pregnant with Preston. He arrived just a week after Nolan’s first birthday and about three weeks before Will turned four. I'm tired just thinking about it! Needless to say, we became very busy very quickly! It has been stressful to have four kids so close together. I have often said it would almost have been easier to have just had triplets! So yes, Jamie and I became more careful and knew we wanted to wait to have more children. Jamie is in the "We're done" state of mind, but I'm just not there yet. Either way, we knew we needed a break from having more.  

Now enters Amy.  We have been talking for a long time about her fertility difficulties and myself being blessed with incredible pregnancies had said to her on a few occasions I would carry a baby for her.  I don't think she ever took me very seriously, but I was serious. As difficult as it was having four small children, we knew it was a gift. It was a gift we never knew we wanted. It was easy to. Obviously I got pregnant very easily, and the pregnancies themselves were incredible! I always felt so good, physically and emotionally. I experienced the normal pregnancy things—had aches and pains—but nothing bad enough to ever complain about. I loved it! So I knew it wouldn't be a sacrifice physically for me at all, and the outcome would be worth any type of pregnancy "pain" I would endure. I couldn't help feeling an obligation to do this. Knowing Fred and Amy's great desire to have another child and myself not pregnant not planning to be pregnant and completely capable of being pregnant (and loving being pregnant), it just seemed like a "no brainer." Apparently, however, our husbands have no brains. (I'm soooo kidding!)  But they weren’t as ready to jump as Amy and I were. Amy and I had arrived at the decision in our hearts long ago over many talks about her fears, her desires, her heartaches and longing for another child. The four of us finally decided we needed to have a serious talk about all of this, so we met at their house for dinner one evening. We discussed the fertility issues Fred and Amy have faced from the very beginning, including the difficult conception, miserable and complicated pregnancy and the horrible botched delivery of Grace and then the years of trying to have another baby after Grace was born. It seemed like we four talked for hours, and Amy did try to talk us out of it, even going as far as to show us the needles of the shots I would have to take prior to the embryo transfer. I remember leaving Amy’s house that night, walking out the door and saying to Jamie, "So what do you think?" and him looking at me and simply saying, "How can we not?" And so it was.